The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death. - Joan D. Vinge

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know. - Will Rogers

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. - Aaron McGruder

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there. - Scott Adams

Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas A. Edison

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work. - Gallagher

One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done. - Marie Curie

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you. - Gilda Radner


Communism is like one big phone company. - Lenny Bruce


There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. - Benjamin Disraeli

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. haha - Oscar Wilde



A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash



An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. - GK Chesterton



"If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams, I'd sleep forever."